dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he was CRYING into my vagina
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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