I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
