i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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