You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
