i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
