Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think my moral compass just broke
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