I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
