i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
