I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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