yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
