okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
as a side note pls kill me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
