I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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