worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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