Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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