Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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