It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
