Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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