C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
