I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
