laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
