I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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