I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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