In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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