I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
