Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Is it because I queefed?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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