okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
