You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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