i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
