I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
