so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
