ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
