yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
