There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
