she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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