Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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