At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
