Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
