Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
