Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
