So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
