Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
