Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my being single is dangerous.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
