You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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