ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
