A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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