Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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