I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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