"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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