I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
