I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
