he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
