I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
