He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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