So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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